I've been writing this post since Thanksgiving. I LOVE Thanksgiving time not only because of the food but it's a time to remember all of the things that we are thankful for, however, it has taken me a little while to figure out what I am truly THANKFUL for this year and I gotta tell ya, it still hasn't sunk in...
I don't really reflect on what I'm thankful for; usually I'm excited for a day off work and awesome food. But this year is a little different for me. This year has really been a transformation year for both of us and while it hasn't been easy, looking back on it, I don't ever want to live like I used to. You see jumping ahead to News Years, I'm planning on making a resolution to simplify my life. Last year it was all about the weight loss and believe you me it's still going to be a part of that, but 2014 will be a year of being content, being happy and living a life filled with joy beyond compare because I know that there is something better after this life and I can't wait! Here's a little story to bring up what I'm talking about.
When we moved here I worked at a daycare. I thought it would be nice to get a job in somewhat the field that I went to school for and being an Assistant Director would look good on a resume being that I would have some sort of leadership abilities. However, it turned out to be a horrible idea, except for the wonderful friendship that was made with a dear friend. I then got a job as a "permanent" temp at State Farm working in the Bank Operations Center. I would come and go every day wondering if I was going to get a call saying that I wasn't needed anymore, and dreading taking a day off work because I knew I wasn't going to get paid for that day, but since we got paid every week....it wasn't so bad, but I dreamed every day of being a full time employee; if I could just get a salary and benefits, everything will be better and we can go ahead and live our lives like "married couples are supposed to," and then it happened. 2 years later, I finally got hired on and I used the analogy of being a pawn and reaching the other side of the chess board to be queened. I was so excited and thought yes, this will make me happy! This is what we have been waiting for!............but the happiness never came. There is still an emptiness inside because even though I got salary and benefits, it's not what I thought it was going to be, and sadly if I were doing what my degree tells me I can do, I would be making more! And my husband decided to quite being a temp at State Farm to become a Special Ed Assistant just to get his foot in the door with teaching. That's another story of itself with all the testing to be done to get his Illinois license, but I'm so proud of him for sticking with it and doing what he loves. He's happy. He's content. He has joy. and he's ever so thankful.
Until I fill that void with Jesus and learn to be fully content and thankful, I'm never going to get there.....I remember being on staff at a bible camp that is near and dear to my heart and I remember hearing the, "Jesus needs to fill the void" speech over and over again and be like, duh I know. Sadly it hasn't hit me until now. I think that a good place to start is coming up with a list of things that I'm thankful for. I see it on facebook, you know the 30 days of Thanks....I actually make fun of it...(I'm going to offend people and I'm really sorry) because I feel like people just do it and they try to think of things they are thankful for so they say Starbucks, and sunsets but don't dig deeper into what they are truly thankful for. To me, it's not real. But that's probably just the jerk inside of me coming out. HOWERVER, I thought that since I'm trying to start anew, it would be good for me to come up with a list of things I'm thankful for, (and I'm probably getting judged by every eye that reads this) here goes!
1. I'm thankful for my husband and his family. I've learned so much and haven't laughed nearly as much as I do with him and all of them. they are a true blessing.
2. I'm thankful that I have a loving family that loves and supports each other. Yes we will not always agree, but we still love each other.
3. I'm thankful that I grew up in a christian home
4. I'm thankful that I grew up with both parents and now have a new family to enjoy the rest of life with
5. I'm thankful for every moment I got to spend with my mother. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her or wonder what life would be like if she were still here
6. I'm thankful that I have a job. Granted it's not a job that I want, but I know it'll lead to other things and it pays the bills. It may not be as much as I would like it to be, but God is still taking care of us.
7. I'm thankful for every day I wake up. We don't know when it's going to be our time to go
8. I'm thankful that my dad gets a second chance at love, because as much as I fought against it, everyone deserves to love and be loved
9. I'm thankful that I have a place to live. Granted we haven't turned the heat on, it's freezing, but the people below have turned theres on making it around 50 up in here! it's warmer than outside and we are still doing okay.
10. I'm thankful that I can go to movies and do fun things with friends and not have to worry about this or that.
11. I'm thankful that I have a fridge and cupboards full of food
12. I'm thankful and slightly disgusted, that I have a closet and dresser overflowing with clothes and a washer and dryer to wash them
13. I'm thankful that I have a bed to sleep on. My husband told me a story about the Jr. High that he teaches at. He said that lots of the kids do poorly on tests and the figured out the reason was because a lot of the kids didn't have a bed. So apparently State Farm donated beds to the kids and their test scores/grades improved!
14. I'm thankful that I decided to walk on the path of the straight and narrow
15. I'm thankful that I have a car, it has heat/air, it gets me from point a to point b and doesn't have mirrors on the visors but I love it
16. I'm thankful that I'm creative and have the ability to use my imagination to create awesome things and be able to see that in others
17. I'm thankful to live in a time where my husband and I can be together. Yes people still judge and look, and might not understand, but some time ago it wouldn't have happened
18. I'm thankful that even though we live in a wretched, corrupt world, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
19. I'm thankful that even though my husband is an artist with me, he is the complete opposite of me in every regard
20. I'm thankful for my church. I've grown and learned so much these past 2 years by meeting new people listening to what Pastor Rick has to share, even the days when other people preach I learn so much, and serving in children's ministries and teaching small group. It's home!
21. I'm thankful that I forgive easily
22. I'm thankful for the friends that I have made here in BloNo. even though the majority of them hate it here and want to live some place else, or have already moved some place else, or are thinking of moving some place else, I'm really blessed to have crossed paths with them
23. I'm thankful that I have water to drink. Anytime that I'm thirsty or need to take a shower or brush my teeth, I can
24. I'm thankful to have a phone. No it's not a smartphone. I still have a dumbphone. It calls, it texts it sends pictures. It has all the basics covered. laugh all you want!
25. I'm thankful I grew up on a farm and 30 minutes from civilization. add to that a small town
I know there is plenty more, but I'm good with 25. It's a start. Lets see where this takes me. Have a wonderful holiday season everyone!
