Ruts

I'm in a rut. I'm getting to the point where I don't want to continue, but yet I dream of being the size that I want to be. Today when I was out shopping I walked through the clothing section and looked at some really cute clothes. I told myself that I was going to wear that soon just in a smaller size, and a big smile flooded my face. But the problem is, I dont' want to do the work to get there. Call it what you want, but we all think about how nice it would be to get from one place to another by Scotty beaming us up, right? I feel like this is the same thing except, "Skinny me up Scotty!" Life would be so much simpler.

I have to keep reminding myself that I still have months to get it off. I still have time. This is only the start.

weigh-in thursday 233.4
2 pieces multigrain toast: 200
half chicken bacon wrap: 250
chips: 220
fresca
6 glasses water
1 cup rice, beans, and assorted veggies:300

total:970
work out-300

weigh-in friday: 233.4
yogurt: 90
banana:105
1 cup rice, beans, and assorted veggies:300
1 pkg turkey jerky: 90
chinese: i don't know where to begin.....lets just say 1,000
fresca
7 glasses water

total: 1585
work out: 300

weigh in saturday: 232.4
2 pieces multigrain toast:200
bacon, avacado wrap: 350
strawberries, grapes, banana: 200
pita chips: 120
fresca.....2 glasses water....sadly

total: 870

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

cleansing

 Last night my husband brings home a bag of Arby's that has 2 roast beef sandwiches and two hot dogs from A&W. "Anndee, I just want you to know that I put a bag of fast food in the fridge." "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why?"
"Well my team lead bought us all lunch today and in my bag was a roast beef sandwich and two hot dogs and i took 1 bite of one hot dog and tried to eat one of the roast beef sandwiches and didn't like it so I threw it away and these are the leftovers. You're welcome to the rest if you want but you can't have them tonight...."
"ummmmm okay.......I'll take something for lunch then"

So I took the roast beef sandwich for lunch and took a Ziploc bag of carrots and called it good....When I came home I threw the rest of the fast food bag out, because I LOVE hot dogs...one of the grossest things in the world and I LOVE them. I had to throw them out because I would have eaten both of them. I was so excited to work out today I came home threw on my work out clothes and headed out the door, only to get to our apt complex gym to find a guy working out on my elliptical machine! Now you may be thinking really Anndee, really? There are other machines. But actually, no there isn't. Our gym is small that there are only 2 elliptical, two treadmills, a bike and a small weight lifting machine. I was so sad, but decided that I would try the other machine. I gave it a try and couldn't get passed 15 minutes. Not because I didn't want to, but because the machine was different than the one that I had been using and caused me to get tired more. Maybe that's a good thing?

I ended my 15 mins on that machine and decided I would walk briskly for 45 mins on the treadmill. I walked fast for awhile and then thought I could possibly start jogging and see what happened. I jogged for 15 mins! I have never been able to do that before! I was proud...I ended up stopping after that and called it a good work out. I think I failed my 500 calorie rule, but hey I'm just starting out. I don't want to get burned out too quickly. However, my calorie intake today was probably more than what I needed. Ugh.....I"ll get there.

weigh in: 233.4
2 pieces multi grain bread (sadly with butter): 280
arby's roast beef sandwich, plain no cheese: 320
10 baby carrots: 32
popcorn: 200
4 tablespoons butter: 400
total:1,232
calories burned: 300
for a grand total of 932

Speaking of a new direction in my life another new direction that I am taking is getting baptized at my church on February 10th. I'm really excited about this part of my life and with all these changes happening I feel as though I'm in a way being cleansed. That may be a weird word to use but I couldn't think of another word. Anyways, the day of the baptism we share a testimony of faith. The cool thing about this is our church does a video testimony of faith and then share it on the projector screen on that Sunday. In preparation for my video testimony I have started to write down what I'm going to say about my story and why I'm getting baptized. I thought that maybe I would write it down on here. It's still a work in progress...

When people started asking me my story on how I came to know the Lord, I was always nervous and afraid to share that I didn’t have some amazing story. Whenever I was in a room where someone shared their story they always had an amazing story where they were so fallen and headed for the life of no return and through some miracle, found God. And of course there was always a verse that stuck out to this person. I wanted that type of story, to make people feel a certain way. So I would embellish my story to make it more interesting than growing up in a Christian home always knowing the lord and accepting Christ at u-turn night at bible camp. If my bible was at hand I would quickly flip through the pages to try and find a verse that I liked and sort of tie that in too. Every time I was asked to share I added more and more. I was so ashamed of my story.

It wasn’t until a couple of years ago when I started to realize that no matter what your story is, the most important part is the fact that I have accepted Jesus in my life and realizing that I am a sinner and through the grace of God, I’m free. Whether always knowing him or following the path of no return and having some televangelist preach to you over late night t.v it doesn't matter how you got there as long as you found that for yourself. My simple story, is amazing and I am fortunate to have found God this way. I’m not saying that there haven’t been stumbles and doubts, I’m human, and I have a feeling that will always be there. But those stumbles and doubts were a lot easier to stomach, knowing that God had a better plan in mind, and that losing your mother was a blessing so that she wasn’t suffering anymore. I don’t think I would feel that way if I didn’t have God in my life. 

SO here I am 10 years later, and I’m sure you’re all wondering why I haven’t been baptized. I asked myself the same exact thing! The idea of getting baptized has always been in the back of my mind and I would always shoo it away and reassure myself that since I was baptized as an infant that was good enough. It wasn’t until we started getting involved in this church almost a year ago that I started to realize that I have been long overdue. I was really glad when Pastor Rick started his sermon series on Direction, because that really hit the nail on the head for me. I've had the intentions but those intentions weren't going to matter in the grand scheme of things if I didn't act upon them. I realized I needed to start practicing what I preach to my Ozone kids.  

So here I am, very excited to be getting baptized, sharing my wonderful story and getting baptized by Pastor Brett. I'm not sure if he knows but Pastor Brett was the one that got us going to this church. There were a lot of other factors, but it was mainly him e-mailing and contacting us for Arts and Sports camp. If he hadn't done that, I don't think I would be in the place right now. I wouldn't have been involved in these ministries and I wouldn't have heard the series on direction.  

the skinny

First off, I just wanted to thank all of you so very much for the support! It's encouraging to know that people are rooting for you from far away! :) I'm one of those Words of Affirmation types of people (give a shout out to The Five Love Languages!) and so the more encouragement and well wishes, the better for me! If I at all sound like I'm falling behind and not reaching my goal, please, please, please knock some sense into me! Or better yet pray that God will smack me upside the head so that I keep doing what I need to do to build a healthy life!

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I think I have devised a plan so far of how this whole thing is going to go down. I have decided to weigh myself every morning, track what I have eaten through out the day and then tally up my calories. I'm going to shoot to eat around 1200 calories a day. I'm going to work out for an hour hoping to burn roughly 500 calories. (today I only burned 460 calories)

So far for exercising routines, or what have you, I have ran on the elliptical machine for 30 mins lifted weights for about 5 mins and then ran for another 30...I think if I get tired of the elliptical, I'll do my Jillian work out DVDs.

I'm happy to hear any suggestions of workouts, recipes, or any other tips that you want to throw out. I'll be happy to try them and see if they work for me! I'm really excited about this and so far so good! I have a feeling that I'll be sticking with it this time....keep those fingers crossed!

Weigh-in: 234.8

Things eaten:
2 pieces of multi grain toast, (sadly with butter)=200 calories
1 cup of turkey sausage, cabbage soup (it tastes a lot better than it sounds)=280 calories
1 serving of blue corn chips=280 so sad that 12 chips adds up to my soup.....this doesn't seem fair
1 dove chocolate with almonds=42 you know how hard it is to eat just one?
Smartfood white cheddar popcorn 1 bag=100
chicken breast with roasted veggies=300

Calories burned: 460

If my math has served me right (I'm an art major...but yet I work at a bank) my total calories=742

We'll see how this goes....I might end up needing a snack.....

#FATLIFE

There is a joke within our group of friends that we say every time we think or do something fat. We do the fat thing and then say, "FATLIFE!" For example, another couple and us ran a 5k this past September. We picked them up around 7 a.m and started on our drive to Chicago. We didn't even get to the corner out of their subdivision when our friend goes," I'm thinking McDonald's for breakfast?" In unison we said, "FATLIFE!" Now, after we walked ran the race, we were hungry yet again and ended up going to Girordano's for dinner. FATLIFE.

 I was excited when I met my husband because we were in the fatlife together. I kind of took the fatlife, ran with it, and used it as my crutch. We had a conversation about our families health history where we both learned that we have tremendous health risks in our lineage that to sit here and do nothing about it, would be encouraging a nasty fate. So my husband took action and started losing weight October of 2011 and lost a significant amount of weight. He always encouraged me to join him where I would start, then hold back and then start again, and hold back. It was hard. So I stopped. I kept telling myself that I'll do it tomorrow or "man, Jillian is really tough and kicking my butt. I think I'll stop after 10 minutes." FATLIFE.

Our pastor started a new series at our church called Direction. He said something to the effects of "your actions determine your destination, not your intentions." In other words, I have good intentions of working out and getting smaller  healthier, but my actions are doing nothing to show that. I have healthy food for snacks sitting in my fridge, but I also have a vending machine right outside the door to where I work that's more convenient and better tasting. After the second sermon of the series, my husband and I agreed together that we would finally, once and for all, conquer the fatlife. We have given ourselves a deadline of exactly 6 months to be the weight that we want to be. It's not going to be easy, in fact it'll be really hard. HA, it's day 1 and my legs are feeling the pain from 45 mins of the elliptical machine. I'm hoping that through writing out my food intake, my weight and each weigh-in, and thoughts a long the way, will make it all a little easier? I'm not sure but we will see! HEALTHYLIFE